Not even a week goes by…

…with me in my new corp and I receive a request to take a merc contract. I am asked to “humble” a smack talking, annoying twit named Marshal Buckov.

Now it seems that the people in Pimebeka have been enduring this man’s inane babble for some time. He’s been seen taking people’s ore and loot.

So, he’s a pirate.

I am from time to time. What makes this so bad?

Well, he’s ticked off enough people that I was offered a large sum of isk, and I mean LARGE, to war dec this guy. The terms?

• War dec his corp
• Pop his pod and introduce his corpse to the vacuum of space
• Keep all the loot
• If a surrender fee is discussed, his popped pod is a requirement
• War dec fees will be paid for the duration of the war

I’ve seen similar terms before, especially for a large corporation war dec. His corp has 7 people in it. Is he that bad?

Normally, if someone is simply engaging in piracy, I will leave them alone. Birds of a feather so to speak.

The inane smack talk, the lying about having won fights when he lost them is pushing it a bit. The worst was not honoring accepted 1 v 1 engagements. He would get help from a gang mate/corp mate. Blobbing is a fact in EVE, but not honoring a 1 on 1 duel is just not right.

Pirates as a whole in EVE are an honest bunch. I know that it sounds weird, but it’s a necessary thing. We have a job to do and sometimes the job itself is hard enough with the way targets sometimes behave. There is no need to offer them any more tools for them to use against us. There is an honor code. When you break that code, you make all pirates in EVE look bad and this just simply will not do.

Now, normally I will not take people on their word when they claim such actions. I have heard such claims before to get mercs to take contracts. Most merc groups do what I do, get an alt into the affected area and observe what is going on. Gather intel on the problem, intel on the ships being flown, combat tactics, etc. In this case, I didn’t need to do that. I trust the people who asked for my help. That and I personally watched such events unfold while attempting to engage in simple jet can piracy my self.

So I accepted the contract, Marshal Buckov Corp was war dec’ed.

I would like to say that it was a glorious war with lots of battles and many explosions, but that would simply not be the case.

Most of his corp spent the past 7 days offline. It was in fact not until today that Marshal himself even ventured online. Must have been that ban for his postings in the COAD discussion on the EVE forums that held him offline. Seems that more than one corp war dec’ed him and he got upset about it. He posted about it. He postd and posted to the point that he was banned for the spam posting that was his new full time job.

He finally undocked after much inane babble in local and after I had blocked him for a bit as I had grown weary of it. He was in a shuttle. Not a wonderful kill, but a kill none the less. And as I had hoped for, his pod was mine too.

His frozen corpse? Given as a gift to one of the many nice people in Pimebeka, specifically the first one that asked for it as there were many requests. They have endured much, it was the least I could do.

The contract terms had been filled and the war is now over, but I will tell you, this guy had better keep himself clean here or I may be asked to come to the aid of the people of Pimebeka again. The next time I would be willing to do it for far less isk.

I want to thank everyone in that system for your words of encouragement and your help in locating which station he was in. In all my time in EVE, I have never seen so many people, even from corps that are actively warring with each other, come together to help one person pop another person.

Let this be a lesson to all you smack talkers out there. People are tired of seeing that crappy drama in local. People are so tired of it that they will band together and hire mercs to go after your sorry hide.

Play nice, pirate honorably and keep the game fun. That’s all WE all ask.